I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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