I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
