How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake