I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.