if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
