I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
