Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
