I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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