Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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