i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
