margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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