i just google imaged poop.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
