vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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