PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
