We won't sleep together?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
