If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
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