Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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