1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize