**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
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Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
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We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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