does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
