I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
