Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize