good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
