You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
