Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
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I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
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Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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