oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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