oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dick very happy bro
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
