I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
