I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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