Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.