OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.