I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
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she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
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So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together