When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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