glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
