hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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