She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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