I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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