Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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