brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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