You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
