My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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