My brain says no but my pants say off.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
