My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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