Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
