She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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