He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My penis needs a shock collar
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
