I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
