She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize
