I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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