we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
