youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
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high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
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THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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