so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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