Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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