I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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