I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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