you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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