ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
