i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
